Work
This was typed last weekend after a bad day at work. Actually, almost every weekend, wednesdays and thursday mornings are bad. How sad right. Whatever I wrote probably sounds very harsh, but that's what I really feel when i'm angsty.
I hate:
The retarded irregular working hours especially the four nights and two weekends.
The very tiring weekends.
The last minute call ups to work which we cannot refuse.
The lazy but hypocritical colleagues. (a few)
The inefficiency of the unorganised company.
The ridiculous things I have to do and trauma (lizards and toads, long story) I have to go through every thursday morning. -_-
The fact that no one thinks this is a proper job. (Which is true, can't blame them for that.)
The lack of a well defined job scope.
Not learning much that is useful and practical (other than coaching the competition girls) which might be useful for the future.
The empty promises.
Not being able to take leave.
Having to work from home at times which often makes me wonder if it's fair, if i'm paid for it.
The 'uniform' aka lousy class t shirt kinda t shirt.
The unattractive pay.
The cracked heels.
I love:
The children (most of them).
The challenges of coaching the competition girls.
The term breaks.
The per hour pay which is okayy. But I work so few hours a week it's pretty useless. And people ought to be paid more for working nights and weekends, yes?
Uh, what else.
Well, it's usually pretty fun I guess. Wouldn't exactly describe this job as boring. How can it be when you have to be screaming at kids all the time.
...
My boss talked to me today. He said he could sense something was wrong - probably from my not very cheerful email to him. So I had a.. 1 and half hours chat with him? And the most retarded thing is I actually teared while sharing with him what my problems with this job ar. Paiseh to the max. He asked me don't emo. Hurhur. I think it's partly PMS, and partly how useless I really feel holding this job. I've heard quite a fair share of comments such as not requiring a degree, wasting parents efforts to send me to uni, not a proper job, low paying etc etc. And i guess over time these comments do affect me quite a bit.
Anyway, the talk didn't change much. He pretty much just repeated what he has told me before, his future plans for me in the company. Unfortunately, there seems no way out of the horrible working hours, and to get where he thinks i'll be next time, i forsee lots of sacrifices expected from me. Hard work's fine, but I expect something in return. Unfortunately BazGym is not like Steppers, there's no way I'll give in my all for free. If i don't feel my work is justified, i'll never be motivated to do more.
He quotes himself as an example all the time. Working 7 days a week, having no time for his family etc etc. But BazGym to him is just like Steppers was to me (or more since it's income generating). He owns BazGym, i'm just an employee. The harder he works the more money he earns, but what if no matter how hard i work, I get peanuts?
To be honest, although I don't believe him 100%, the future he forsees for me in the company is pretty attractive to some extent. But how long? And how much will I be expected to give to the company to reach there? Even when I reach there, will I be satisfied enough? With the pay, with what I'm doing. And to be honest, i think there are promises he makes that are never fulfilled.
That's the problem with working in a small, pretty new company in an unusual line. No standard business model, system, no fixed career progression for the staff. Everything's just by word of mouth. And how much of that can you believe? Not many similar companies to compare (or to jump ship t0).
Omg I've spent so long typing this entry, and most of it is nonsense. I think I can go on for at least a few more paragraphs, but i think i better go practise dance in my wardrobe now.
