All about balancing*

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Jia Hui
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Mei.Mei-

Tears. Sadness. And yet a sense of.. stillness.
Helplessness. Regret. Wishing it was all not true. Silently hoping, begging and crying inside.

Arrivals. Crying, sobbing, even wailing. Sadness.. sadness all around. Anguish.

Phonecalls.. more relatives arrived. State of disbelief..

Preparations were made..
It was awful.. just very awful..

Finally.. everyone did settle down abit. Folding, folding and more folding. Ingots.. gold bars and whatnots. No one knew if it was all true. But everyone folded with utmost sincerity, hoping the best for our beloved.

Flower wreaths, blankets, condolences..

The atmosphere did get lighter. It began to feel like a huge gathering of all the relatives. It was actually nice meeting cousins and relativesnot seen in years. Some probably for more than a decade.. Nolstagia. If only we all met up for a different occasion..

Few hours of sleep. Many hours of folding, burning, hosting visitors...etc

Every morning, it would feel like a dream. Looking out of my window, then climbing down the stairs.. reality crashes in.

Gradually got used to the daily routine.. almost hoped it wouldn't end.
because..

The last day. Dread. Fear. Sorrow.

Hoped for the journey to never end, for us to never reach there. But we did..

Witnessed the similar, cruel process twice this year. Horrible.. That was the end.. there was no turning back. It was really a fact now. Hearts ached.. So badly..

Wherever. the best. for her.
all of us. love. lots.

Love, ja
12:46 AM