Tears have been flowing a lot the past three days.
First, culture night. It was a great culture night, despite it being really long. It was good seeing the whole 4th floor come together to perform c-lappers. (: Some of the performances were hilarious, like liren and ahliang's titanic performance, while the c-rew one was touching. It's heartening to see how close they are, how one person's departure from hall hurts the rest so much. It makes me sad too.. the fact that my darling FA is leaving c block. Though it's not like I'll stay in c block and feel her absence. But it's just sad thinking there won't be a person as cute as nice as fathie liang staying in c block anymore. I was actually looking forward to the final years performance, 'cause most of them are so close to my heart, and I knew their performance would be meaningful. But as the night dragged too long, they decided to do it another time. Culture night ended off with the c-block song, of course. I really wanted to sing it loud, sing it proud [in the past i never sang the majulah singapura or the ny song properly], but at the same time I knew I'd break down anytime. And I did, just few seconds in the song. One of my last times singing the c-block song in a huge c block circle.. I'll really miss it.
Today, I invited my dearest steppers over to my house for a captain's treat/post cheerobics celebration. Calv, jk and I [plus my maid sasa] spent around 3 hours messing up the kitchen and making food. Don't know how the other two felt, but I really hoped the steppers would like our food, and i really wanted to do something special for them. Wanted to make the apple streusel for them, but ended up not having the time. Chopped the stupid 8 apples for nothing :( But most of them said the food was nice and I'm glad.
We were just hanging around, having mud pie and playing PS when all the other steppers suddenly just stood up around me, with some piece of paper in their hand. [I actually thought they were giving me a present, damn. =P] And they said they were going to sing to me. I was kind of wondering if it'd be a happy or sad song, and before they sang I really felt okay. As if I would not cry today. But this was how the song went:
I can't sleep my thoughts just kept on swirling inside of my head oh.. i think we are going mad
i was a fool i played too cool i thought steppers was all that you had just us... never thought we would be so sad
it seems only yesterday so happy we all now just look at us alone and so blue
i was wrong i admit it wo qiu ni hui lai it's not someday it's not one day come back to us
cup the phone i called your home my heart pounding hoping that you would say.. it's okay i'll try again
is it our fate i hesitate i don't know if you'd give us that chance to say... lets perform at channel eight
there's so much we wanna say for all that you've done but when you're here with us the words just won't come
i know it's tough but we ask for another chance can we please try again
And the tears just came. Of course they would.. Because of how much I want to stay in steppers but i really can't. 'Cause of how they had secret meetings to learn a song to sing for me and make me stay. 'Cause i'll not fly anymore, not perform with my darling steppers anymore after i leave. 'Cause I knew I would disappoint them. and 'cause they really sing not bad, and the song touched my heart. 'Cause of how my journey has almost ended. And that we're almost saying goodbye.
Thank you steppers, for the song. For all that you've given me. Without you, I wouldn't have been the captain of such an outstanding squad, I wouldn't have gone to cheerobics.. I wouldn't have experienced the joy of winning, I wouldn't have had the courage to fly.. And I wouldn't have found another group i felt such a strong belonging to.
At first I was rather hesitant and unsure about the steppers trip, but now i really hope it works out, 'cause i really want to perform with them again. Even if it's for the last time.
C-block, Steppers. I'm so sorry for leaving you guys. Please be strong.. may c block spirit re-ignite and be always there. May steppers be the strongest squad, form the strongest bond within and overcome all the obstacles together. I'll miss you. So much.
