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Mei.Mei-
♥ Friday, September 26, 2008

Emo + have-to-study ja = many blog entries..
Today's:
mama's b'day
I realllyy love love love my mama. Want her to stay beautiful and healthy always!
Increase the platelettes pretty please.
Will post the photos we took just now another day to show u all how pretty she is (:
Today's(2 years ago) also when patchy left me
It's been two years. But believe it or not, I still can't really accept the fact that he's gone.
Patchy, hope u know how much i love you and miss you..
I read the book 'marley and me' and i was totally reminded of patchy.
I just cried and cried.
I don't think I'll ever get over my loss of patchy.
Have you seen the rose I got you?
.
.
.
I'm studying at a super slow rate. Behind my almost non-existent schedule.
Mind filled with so many thoughts, so many distractions.
Mama, patchy, cheerleading.
Steppers, cheerleading, flying, tumbling, may, oat have been occupying my mind so much the past few days.
Maybe it's just cos of the camp.
Maybe, (or maybe not) I'll get over it.
.
PS(Steppers flyers finally managed to learn proper twist cradling!:])
PSS(Too lousy to be tossed up into cupie :( Hope i'll be able to do it next time!)
.
.
Forgot to mention I'm supposed to be studying. Study ja. Study.


Love, ja
1:46 AM

♥ Thursday, September 25, 2008

I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms :(

Even though I didn't even attend the whole camp!

Missing may&oat!


I wanna fly now now now!
But I'm supposed to mugmugmug.



Miss flying with chun!





Love, ja
10:02 PM

♥ Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Yay.
I did a cupie today! First time! Super happy!
Not like much of it was my effort, it was mostly 'cause coach was zai.
But still!
Yay!
Wish I can do it a few more times to practise!
And take photos too wahaha.
So, I went back to visit again. For quite long too =X
But I had so much fun!
I thought I lost my back tuck like totally for a while.
Nightmare for a few moments!
But the coach knew why it felt so weird for me the first two times!
He suggested not assisting so much, and that really helped!
When i tried again it felt right! =D
Too bad I'm damn weak now though.
Very proud of the senior steppers too.
They were super brave and tried back tuck!
I'm sure with more practice they'll be able to do it.
Really glad that the coaches were so willing to help too (:
I'm gonna be guai tomorrow.
Staying home to study the WHOLE DAY. Yes. Not visiting steppers at all. (boo)
.


Love, ja
2:03 AM

♥ Monday, September 22, 2008

Sad.
.
.
Thai camp has started today, and I'm not participating.
Many would see thai camp as tiring, torturous, time consuming etc etc.
But for me, it's as opportunity to meet the coaches i admire so much, learn manymany new things and improve by leaps and bounds.
It's also a chance to slog it out with your team and achieve something together.
.
I love cheer trainings. I really do. And I love thai camps too.
.
And that's why I'm so so sad about not being part of thai camp this time.
.
.
Last night or rather this morning I slept very late. At 5.45am maybe? I thought I wouldn't be able to drop by hall today to visit the coaches and steppers, being the pig I am.
But I woke up earlier then I thought and managed to visit them for a while.
.
I dreamt of the coaches last night. Guess that kinda shows how much I miss them and how much I wanna go for thai camp. I dreamt that one of them wanted to teach me many new exciting stunts, but somehow the other was angry. Heh no idea why.
But I remember being very excited at the thought of learning new stunts...
.
.
Well, I woke up and realised it was all just a dream. I don't cheer anymore, I don't fly. I am not going through thai camp, and I never will.
I thought I'd go back to sleep after I woke up to go to the toilet. But I couldn't sleep and just kept thinking of thai camp. So I went back.
.
.
It was nice seeing them again! I miss how they call me caapppppptaaaaiiiiiiiin. But today one of them just called me old captaain. :( So sad.
And I realised he knows and remembers my name! Never knew that, thought they only know me by cappppppppptaaaiiiin.
.
.
I really adore them you know. Adore their pro-ness at cheerleading. And I find them so funnnyyy and cute. I'm glad I got to talk to them today.
One of them asked me why I don't cheer anymore. I told him my parents didn't want me too. He understood I guess, but he asked me to cheat my parents. Haha.
How cute.
Of course I can't.
.
.
But really. Today I realised how sad I am about having given up cheerleading.
I actually wanted to cry when I left hall today.
Emo-ness.
.
.
I'd like to visit thai camp as much as possible. If I could, I'd just hang around and be there the whole time. But I have 4 freakin mid terms. And being out of hall, I feel i definitely have to put in more effort into studies.
But when i was in hall visiting the steppers today,
I was thinking, is it really worth it?
Giving up what I love to attempt to salvage my disastrous cap by just that little bit?
I still haven't decided when I'm going back next.
I wonder how am I going to. Sigh.
.
.
.
Chunn if you're reading this. It really sucks that I'm not going for cheerobics. :((
..................
Sad thing no. 2
Maomao left today.
And when I watched him wave goodbye to his family and friends.
It suddenly dawned on me how long he'll be away.
And how 6H gatherings without him are just not going to be the same.
:(


Love, ja
1:42 AM